Love Your Spouse

April, 4^th, 2011: Great week end. I have really been enjoying the conference.  Sunday morning session I was listening to President Dieter F. Uchtdorf speak on “The Road to Damascus”. My mind went a different direction then his talk was on, when he spoke of his wife Harriet in such a reverent manner that it got my mind going to another subject, the subject of loving your spouse with a deep reverence of love and adoration. Of course this was the talk that was given by Elder Richard G. Scott in the Afternoon Session. My mind was drawn to the importance of loving your spouse completely. We all know of the strength and weaknesses of our spouses, more so then other people around the town. My mind kept coming to the fact that we need to feel a deep reverence for our spouses. How important it is to build up our spouses to those in our company throughout the day. We should always look at the positive aspects of our loved one. My mind kept thinking of Joe’s very most positive character trait, He is such a good father to all his children. He has such a patient manner about him. His sacrifice is daily and constant toward his family. He never shows anger or frustration. It does not necessarily mean that he is never disappointed, but he always gives his children and family growing and teaching experiences. He has such great patience and love for his family. When we speak together of the family, he never dwells on their weaknesses; he always has great faith and love for his children. He knows of their great potential. Elder Richard G. Scott said, “If you want to have a wonderful wife, then you need to have her see you as a wonderful man and perspective husband”, I’ll change this to say (If you want to have a wonderful husband, then you need to have him see you as a wonderful woman or wife). Joe, It’s time to tell you that I LOVE YOU! I will commit to you this day that I will spend my life building you up always. Happy Anniversary Honey (April 6th, 1979)

Easter

March 29^th, 2011: Easter is coming up so maybe I’ll write about how Easter was for me when I was a little girl. The thing that I remember and that I really loved about Easter was the new dress, shoes, gloves and hats that we got every year. My mother would sew them for us. She made such pretty dresses for us.

 There are two that I remember particularly. One was when we were living in K-Park housing in Camarillo, California. Mom had made a shirtwaist dress out of pretty white light material with red velvet poke-a-dots on it (The poke-a-dots were tiny). We had a red velvet sash around the waist. We had red velvet shoes, and white gloves and hats. They were so pretty. I just loved them. I have always loved to dress up in a dress even to this day.

The other dress that I remember was a dress that I sewed. After I was in Jr. High, I learned to sew myself. I made my own dresses after that. One of my first Easter dresses that I sewed was out of a simple cotton material with a plaid design of a soft pink and purple color. It came out so very nice and was very proud of it because I had done it myself. Everyone in the family had a dress out of the same material every year. Dad would have a tie made out the same material as well. We were quite the sight at church.

We would then come home and have an Easter Egg Hunt. They were the small chocolate Easter eggs. There would be so many eggs hidden everywhere. There were some that would be found clear into the year; because there were so many hidden and we could never find them all.

 Then in the afternoon or evening we would go to our grandma and grandpa Adams house to eat with them. Grandma would always have a grocery sack full of candy and goodies. We thrilled over it every year.

 As often as we moved, it didn’t matter, because our grandparents always moved along with us. Mom’s, mom just had to be where her daughter was. She was her only child. She had a boy first, but he was born without a face and was badly deformed. He died at birth. Mom also had another brother that was older then her. He died in his twenties (I believe) of Tuberculosis. Mom was born with a cleft pallet and had gone through many operations to be able to talk as well as she did. After mom, grandma never had any more children. She never wanted to be very far from her because of it.

 Our other grandparents (Dads parents), we never saw very much. They lived in San Diego, California. We did go to see them now and then. I remember a Christmas that we spent there. I remember waking up to so many wonderful smells in the kitchen. It seemed that they would be up cooking all night. I remember that was the only year that I received a doll that I actually liked. That was because it was almost my size and I could dress her up. I normally did not like dolls of any kind, but because it was so big, I liked this one.

The only thing that I remember about Grandpa was how he would rock me in a rocking chair while he smoked his pipe. That is the only picture I see of my grandfather Tholander in my mind. He died of lung cancer when I was very young. Grandmother also died of cancer of the lymph nodes.

We were eating our Sunday dinner in Camarillo, California, when we received a phone call from Dads family that Grandma was not doing well and none of them could take care of her. I remember we did not even finish dinner. We packed up a few clothes and left right then to drive to San Diego to pick her up and bring her to our home where we could take care of her. This was one of the few things that I remember about her. Amy and I went up stairs to show her our cat. We really wanted to do something nice for her, but the darn cat scratch grandma on her arm. Grandma was hurting so bad. We felt so very bad about what happened to her. What was supposed to be a good thing, turned out to be very horrible.

When I grew up and had a family of my own, we changed things a little. I had boys, so I did not make Easter clothes for them. We did have the Easter egg hunt though. We had so much fun at all the Easter Picnics that we have gone on with Grandma and Grandpa Mangum. Poor Patricia missed out as she was born the day after Grandpa Mangum Funeral. We still had picnics but they were not the same without Ralph there with us. She did not get the homemade Easter dresses either. We bought some till she was no longer interested in dresses of any kind. She was a tom boy being raised around five brothers. The one thing that our boys and Patricia have looked forward to is finding the money eggs. We would hide several candy eggs and just a few money eggs of all different amounts. But the dollar egg was the prize win. It always seemed that Willie would find so many of those dollar eggs.

One particular Picnic that we really enjoyed after Grandpa was gone was out to a sand wash out East of St. Johns. The kids and cousins would all slide down the sandy banks over and over again. We had our traditional Easter Egg Hunt out there as well. That was one of the most fun ones we had.

Our favorite Picnic spot of all times has been the Diversion Dam that is now owned by Carl Pew. The effort of getting the keys and permission has taken all the fun out of going out there. The road has changed as well.

Japan

March 17^th, 2011: Topic today is Japan. Since the main headlines are about the catastrophes in Japan, I decided this would be a good day to reminisce our days that we lived in Japan. I was five-years-old and Amy was three. We had the whitest hair that the Japanese people had ever seen. It wasn’t just blond it was a natural platinum blond. We were given a lot of attention from the people there because of our hair. Amy and I had the cutest little kimonos and gatas (wooden flip flop type of shoe that the Japanese people wore) to where. Mom would dress us up in our Kimonos and gatas and then take us to the many festivals that the Japanese culture displayed.

 Amy and I learned to speak the Japanese language very well when we were there very quickly. We would use the language to sing with the other Japanese girls up on the stage for these festivals. Do not remember the language very well now though. When you are young you learn languages quick, but if it is not cultivated as you grow older, it leaves very quick as well. I remember very few words now. My mother and father took longer to learn the language, but remembered it longer, particularly mom.

I remember especially playing in a little play house behind the couch. It is humid in Japan and so all the furniture has to be away from the walls so as not to mildew. We had our couch about four feet away from the walls. This was a perfect place for Amy and me to have a play area in. I remember I loved to play back there. It felt like a private spot to be in. By the way, we lived in Tachikawa, Japan on the air Force base Housing. This is near Tokyo, Japan. We lived there for a year.

Another thing I remember about living there was the little candy cart that would come by every day. It is similar to the bakery truck that would come by every day when we lived in California. Only difference is that it was more like a small hand cart that was filled with Japanese candy of all kinds. It would be pushed instead of driven, by a Japanese young man. I loved the candy that was wrapped in a rice paper. You could eat the whole thing. The rice paper would melt in your mouth. I loved it.

I remember just how beautiful the green countryside was. It was so beautiful there. The architecture was also very beautiful. I really loved living there while we were young.

Also I remember mom would take us to a little craft place that she would go to all the time. Don’t remember the name of the place, but mom would do an interesting type of craft done with metal on top of a piece of wood with a modeling type of clay in-between the metal and the wood. She would then use a pointed wooden tool to make the shape of a face on the metal. This would be indented into the metal and then she would put a kind of antiquing on it to bring out the face even more. I believe she did other crafts as well. Mom loved doing things like that. She was very talented in the craft area. I don’t remember what other ones she did while were there.

Well this is off the topic of Japan, but maybe I will take a little space to talk about moms many talents. Mom loved to do crocheting, Trichem hand paint embroidery, embroidery and sewing. She really did a lot of sewing. She made all of our clothes when we were young. I remember the dresses that she would sew with the sashes in back. I loved the sashes in back.

She was also very much into cooking and canning, butchering the cows right on the kitchen table, making butter from the cows milk that dad would milk every day. Jams and jellies, and boysenberry pie, umm yum J. There were three of us girls (Bert, Amy and Me) and of course dad and mom for dinner. She would cook for an army. I whole plate of eggs, tomatoes, etc. Needless to say we learned to love to eat and eat well. When I was young it didn’t hurt us so much. We were as skinny as can be. I weighed 98 pounds clear up through my college years, couldn’t gain an ounce. But now that I am older and have had a few children, I wish I didn’t like to eat so well now. We won’t say what we weigh now. That would be too much information. But mom loved to cook for people to enjoy food. She loved to have people over to eat with us. The missionaries came over gladly to our house many times to eat.

How I got to know Dad!

March 10, 2011: Amy said that Joe (son) was wondering how Dad and I got together. Well we will go back to the beginning. I had just finished my four years at BYU (Brigham Young University). I was taking one more summer semester of just fun classes: Flower arranging, Tap Dancing, and a religion class. In my tap dancing class, for the final we were to do a tap dance with a partner for the whole class. I was fortunate enough to have Johnny Whitaker for my dance partner. He is a famous movie star. He played Buffy in family Affair. This was a series in my youth days. He also played Huck in Huckleberry Finn. He is the one with the kinky curly red-blond hair. Well he was a little older then I and we danced together like we knew what we were doing. Was kind of fun. Was my moment with fame.

 I worked upstairs of the BYU Bookstore in the Book department for the last year I was there. I remember Dan Heap came to BYU to interview teachers to come to St. Johns to teach school. I was contacted by the administration of Education Department to come for an interview. I looked up St. Johns, Arizona on the map, could not find it for the longest time. Finally I found this tiny little dot. That was St. Johns. I decided then and there that I was not going to St. Johns to teach. It was way too tiny for me and I was not married yet. I wanted to stay in Utah and find my husband first.

 That was not the plan Father in Heaven had though. I went to the interview for the practice of it all. I was a very nervous interviewee. I walked into the small room; Dan Heap was standing there waiting for me to come in. I came in and shook his hand. The spirit was extremely strong in that room. I do not remember what was said or what I said, but I did know that I was going to St. Johns. That fact was very clear to me as we interviewed. When we finished with whatever we were talking about, I just said that I was interested in coming to St. Johns to teach. Bishop Dan Heap told me that he thought that I should come to St. Johns first to see the place before I made a final decision. He was a little nervous about me coming here because I was single and he knew that the availability of young men was next to nil. He was afraid that I would not be happy with St. Johns and not stay very long.

 So I took the rest of the money that I had left and came to St. Johns. He was right. St. Johns when you did not know anyone was very homely looking, not very many trees. I love trees and green, two things of which St. Johns was not plentiful in. But I could not turn from what I knew I had to do. When the spirit directs you listen and do. So I spent three days, this was what was required of me. I was given a low teacher discount at the Elm Motel of $12.00 a night from Gwen Udall. She later became one of my visiting teachers when I moved here. After the three days were up, I came to Bishop Dan Heap who was the Superintendent at the time and asked if I could sign my contract. I did and went back to BYU to finish up my summer semester.

 In August of 1978 I moved all my belongings to St. Johns. Mom and dad helped me. Dad was used to driving all day and night, until he saw me do something very scary. I was following them in my new car that Mrs. Harshman had bought for me when I graduated from BYU. It was getting very late and we had been driving for many hours. I was extremely tired. Dad had just passed a vehicle up, so I just did the same with out being aware of another vehicle coming in the other lane. I passed, the other vehicle drove over to side as far as he could safely do and the one that I was passing went to the other side as far as he could, and I drove down through the middle. I never blinked an eye. My dad viewed this from his rear view mirror and decided it was time to stop and have a nap. I could make the trip a lot better after the nap.

 We made it to St. Johns safely and dad said the same thing about the town. He couldn’t believe his little girl was going to live in this place. But he didn’t have a say and so he left me there. I found this cutest little house that was just big enough for one person. I rented the Carry Starleys house next door to Ruth and Dale Davis across the street from the old Pioneer Elementary School. I then went to work on fixing up my classroom. It had not been used for some time and was in bad need of some repairs. I did them all myself. I patched up big holes in the walls, painted the walls, and made some pretty blue checkered gingham curtains for the windows. As long as I was busy I did not feel too lonely.

 I absolutely loved teaching the third grade. I loved my class. They loved me. But as time went by I soon found that the people of St. Johns were right, there were no available young men around. They all went away to other cities to find their mates. I was beginning to get a little depressed. I wasn’t sure why Heavenly Father wanted me to come to St. Johns. Surely it could not be only to teach these wonderful children that I dearly loved. But it seemed like that was the reason. I prayed for answers. For a while I just went day to day doing my job and loving it of course, but nothing seemed to be coming my way. There was one date that I had. Mrs. Young, one of my fellow teachers put me up to a date with some guy from Salt River. We had a nice time and good food, but he was not LDS, and of course that is my first and number one character trait that was a must. So more time had gone by and I got lonelier and lonelier.

 Gwen Richey owned the house that I was living in at the time. She was Carry Starleys daughter. Her mother had passed away a short time before I came to St. Johns. She knew a young man named Joe Mangum that lived right across the street from her. She had always loved Joe and thought about him often to get to know me. Everyone thought that I was, quote from them, “a pretty young thing”. She kept trying to get Joe to come over to see me and talk to me. He tried a few times to come and see me, but was just too shy to get to my door. He would drive his yellow ford pickup up and down my road and then go home. I never knew this till after I had a chance to get to know him. This came about because I would often go next door to Ruth Davis’ house to watch her decorate cakes. She would make the prettiest roses. I would watch and watch, but could never seem to make a rose like her. She made our wedding cake. Daisies were my flowers for the reception so she put daisies all over the cake. It was beautiful.

 Well I was over to her house for quite some time watching her and visiting with her. It was time to go home so I went, but to my dismay I had locked my house keys inside the house. I could not get in, so I went back to Ruth’s’ house to call sister Richey. That is when she sent Joe over with the key to let me into my house. He had no choice but to do as Gwen wanted him to do. He let me in and came in as well. He sat to talk to me. I guess talk to me. He was there for about two hours and said about two words. In two hours since I had to do all the talking, he knew everything about me practically. He decided he liked me and was not going to miss out. He asked me to a football game of which I had to take tickets first before I could go and sit with him. He became more and more comfortable with me as time went by. The only problem was I was not interested in him.

 There were three reasons: first He had long hair that did not appeal to me. I always like a clean cut look (Missionary Look). He also did not go to church or did not seem to be very active. Then he was not a returned missionary. I had always thought that I would marry a returned missionary. These things really bothered me. I kept praying him away. He did not go away. He kept buying me things that he thought that I wanted. He bought me a fish tank and accessories for my classroom. It was frustrating. It seemed the more I was praying him away, the more he kept coming back. I didn’t know what to think. So I got to thinking that I was not really listening to what the Lord wanted to me to do. So I decided to change my approach to my prayers.

 I then decided to ask the Lord what I was to do with this situation. My Frustration then changed to a sure thought of GIVE HIM A CHANCE. I thought Okay. So then I tried really hard to see him in a different way and really get to know him. I found out that he had long hair because His sister Vickie usually cut his hair and she was away to school. He said that I could cut his hair if I wanted to. I had exactly ½ hour of a mini lesson in a BYU homemaking class on hair cutting. So I tried to give him a hair cut. It came out pretty good and I have been giving them to him ever since. He didn’t look so bad. I thought to myself, hummm, he’s pretty good lookin. Then I found out that he didn’t go to church because he didn’t have anyone to go with and he just does not do well by himself. He is a little shy or just does not do well around a lot of people by himself. So I told him he could go with me. And he has been going ever since with me. That left a Mission. Well if you know Joe and his uneasiness around people you would know why he didn’t go on a mission. That was a little hard for me, but I had to go on the answer I got from the Lord. So I just accepted the fact that he knew a lot about the gospel from reading the scriptures faithfully every day. I could appreciate this and let it be.

In October of 1978 he was over to my home and I had fixed him Pork Chops in cream of chicken soup cooked in the oven, this is his favorite way of having pork chops, he asked me to marry him. We have been happily married for the past 32 years. We have 5 wonderful boys (John, Willie, Robert, Joe, and Cyrus) and one beautiful girl (Patricia).

Patricia's Track Meet

March 9^th, 2011: This last week end we spent the day Friday attending Patricia’s Track Meet in Apache Junction. Patricia is an awesome long distant runner. She runs the mile and the ½ mile. This year due to the poor economic situation of the state and education department, they are putting all schools together in the competitions. There is no longer 1A, 2A or 3A etc. Does not matter what the size of your school or the size of the students in your school, you all compete together.

 St. Johns usually can compete with the best of them though. We do not have as many big and powerful athletes, but we have enough. Patricia did very well with those bigger schools. She came in third in both races. We were proud of her. She is awesome to watch. She did have a hurt or pulled muscle. She has been putting ice on it and then heat every other 20 minutes for the past three or four days. Still is this week. Hopefully she will recuperate here soon. Just the same though, she still ran it like nothing was wrong.

 Yesterday though, she complained of getting sick with a cold. Hopefully she can ford it off. She says it is my fault. I’ve been sick for the past few months and especially the past two week with a comeback of a bad cold. When I have a cold, everyone completely stay as far away from me as they can and still live with me. I get to feeling a little lonely at times. It’s frustrating. We go through a can of Clorox wipes every week sterilizing behind me every day. The truth is, everyone at school is sick with this stuff. So it is possible that it could be anyone other then myself who presented the germs to them.

 I’ve been working on getting rid of this stuff real hard. I was supposed to have cataract surgery tomorrow morning at 7:30. But I cannot be coughing or blowing my nose at all after the surgery. So I had to postpone it for another date. I wonder if I will ever stop coughing or blowing stuff out of my nose. It seems to go on forever.

 Back to track though. It is one of my favorite sports. Patricia has been running the mile and 800 since she was in 4^th grade. I am really going to miss it when she graduates next year. Joe was also fun to watch in track. Joe did Soccer. Wrestling, Acadec, Track, and everything he could get his hands on. He was so busy that I’m not sure he had time to sleep at all. He was simply amazing to watch in any sport he played. He always gave it his all and made the sport just absolutely fun to watch.

 I still remember running out on the mat to help him out when he was about to be pinned (one of the few times he was pinned) to go help him out. It was exhausting to watch him wrestle because I felt like I was wrestling with him. However, he never let me live it down that I did that. That was way to embarrassing to him. They even had to do a write up of it in the newspaper. Needless to say, I refrained after that. I really didn’t even know what I was doing at the time. It was just second nature to go help out.

 Joe was something else to watch do the pole vault and High jump. That was his specialty until it came to state in his senior year. He had injured his knee during soccer I believe. It had not healed up sufficiently when it came to the state track meet. He waited till the pole vault got to a certain height, then went in, but was hurting too much to be able to be successful. It was quite the blow for him. So he had one final event left and it wasn’t even his event at all. He loved doing it, but it was not the one he felt that would give him state championship in. That was the 100 meter hurdles. The guy that was supposed to be the favored in the event was right next to Joe in the lineup. He fell right out of the lineup at the gun start. Joe decided that this was his last event and to give it all he could. He took advantage of the situation and came in 1^st with flying colors. That was so thrilling to watch. I can still remember the feeling. Everyone from St. Johns was sitting tight there close to the center of the hundred meter part of the field in the bleachers. We had such a good view of the race. We were screaming so hard, you surely could tell who his town fans were. It was quite the upset for the others. This is the view of his parents and fans of course. He would probably say differently as he was the participant.

 One advantage that I could see is that Joe and Mogli (Michael Madrid) were always good at the same sports. They would push each other in everything they did. Mogli got scholarships in track to go to school. Joe had acadec scholarships to ASU. They both helped each other out in the long run. Both were so much fun to watch. Well my day is over and I have to close for now.   

Walnuts

March 7, 2011: Not feeling really great today, so I think I will choose a rather short topic to write about today. One thing, I have been working so very hard for the last 2 weeks on is trying to get over this very bad cold. I am supposed to have cataract surgery on Thursday. But I don’t know if I am going to feel good enough by then yet. I cannot be coughing or blowing my nose at all after having the surgery. Today I am not only blowing my nose and coughing still (very Little) My eye is also running like a sieve. I didn’t sleep well last night because of a headache I could not get over until I got up in the middle of the night and took a can of Pepsi with two Tylenols. The Headache finally went away, but then I was awake from the caffeine in the Pepsi. But at least I was comfortable and could rest. So now I am a bit tired and could really use a nap. But that is not in the picture until about 8:30 tonight. I can hardly wait.

 The wind is something else today. I think I will stay inside today. Just listening to the wind is enough to feel not like going outside in it. I’m piglet today. He doesn’t like the wind either. Winnie the Pooh is my favorite cartoon. We recite Winnie the Pooh characters all the time at our house. Everyone in our home has a favorite Winnie the Pooh character. I like them all. Well back to the topic of the day: Walnut trees.

 When we lived in Camarillo, California, we were living in KP housing. This is housing for the Air Force service men and their families. Hundreds of service men’s homes were there. Back behind our complex there was a tall fence and then behind that there was an orchard of walnut trees. Every year we would go and pick the walnuts or at least some of them, and spend the evening cracking the walnuts and storing them for the year. Mom would always make some sugared walnuts at Christmas time. I loved the sugared walnuts. I would always try to crack the walnut so we could have perfect haves. This is not as easy as it may seem. There were not that many perfect haves. But it was something we really tried hard to do. I guess that was a goal and we felt satisfaction if we could accomplish it. I remember also playing with our neighbor friends back in this orchard as well. It was a fun place to be for a while, till things changed in our family.

Picnic

March 3^rd,2011: Well I guess I’ll write about my favorite PICNIC. I was living in Camarillo, California at that time. I was around 7 or 8 years old. We were at an outing with dad’s Air Force buddies. Don’t remember where we had the picnic, but it was away from the city. The thing I remember the most was that it rained. I absolutely love the picnic because of the rain. Dad was happy and we were all together. Don’t remember what we had for the picnic or anything else. I just remember feeling the rain fall on me and just loving the feeling I had at that time of the family being together.

It always seemed that when dad was with his Air Force buddies, he was a happy joyful dad to be around, maybe because there was always beer available. Dad loved his beer. But it was not always good for dad. I remember he was drunk most of the time when we were around him. He would come home from work and be drunk. Mom would be so mad, and then as soon as she saw him, she would melt and feel sorry for him because he was so sick.

 I remember he was sick in many other ways too. Did not like what he was like when mom wasn’t there and he was drunk. This and the fact that dad always told me I was a stupid idiot all the time made my life somewhat unbearable when I was young. Not that we didn’t have some good times together, but they were not often enough. Dad was what you call an alcoholic. He definitely could not handle his liquor. It became a mental illness as well. Your brain just does not do well with alcohol in large amounts. Needless to say Amy and I had a pretty hard time of it all because of the abuse we took due to his mental state most of the time.

 If we were not being call stupid and made to feel that we were just not capable of doing anything, we were being abused in ways that I cannot mention. I say this because I have grown up now and see my father in a very different way now. I cannot condone what he has done to my sister and me, but I do understand a little better what controlled him and that maybe his attitude of our abilities was do to his very capableness. He was very talented in almost any trade. He was a hard worker, knew how to do almost anything. If he did not know he would find out.

 He was a 6^th grade drop out. He was taken out of school to work on the farm for his parents. He did get into a lot of trouble in school that didn’t make his life any better for him. I believe now that I have an ADHD boy of my own that dad perhaps had this same disorder. They didn’t know as much about it back then. But I can see by the things that he did and how he behaves that he had it as well. Another problem with ADHD people is that they are highly addictive. This pretty much explains about his alcoholism. But even though he had these problems and did not have a full education, he was extremely smart and capable. He did receive his HS diploma in the Air Force.

 Because of his extreme capableness though, Amy & I were never able to measure up. This always made me mad and defiant inside. This was a gift that I was given, because it was this defiance that gave me the strength to do what I have done in life. I was always determined to show him just what I was capable of doing. It may not have impressed my dad, but it kept me going forward in life. I hated the abuse that my dad gave to Amy & me. It got to the point that because my mom had a mental block about the subject of sex and sexual abuse that I couldn’t take it any more and I went to the Air Force Authorities to turn dad in for sexual abuse (I was 9 year old at the time). Amy & I were taken out of school separately into a room by ourselves to testify against dad. I remember this was a very difficult thing to do, but had to be done or else it would never change. I could not bear life as it was, so there was no alternative but to do what we had to do.

 Our (Amy & I) actions that day forever changed our lives. Dad was given a dishonorable discharge from the Air Force after 17 years of service to our country. He was then put into a mental hospital/Prison facility for a year. We were kicked out of KP housing. The Lutheran Church kicked us out of the Church, because we were horrible dirty people. Our neighbor friends were told they could not play with us. We became outcasts. I remember feeling very alone, but ready for a new life.

 It was then that we came to know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. What a beautiful new beginning. I have always felt a love from a father up above, but never knew it as strongly as I know it now. He was very aware of me in our time of trial. He was and is the source of my strength from the very beginning. Mom had been invited to go to a MIA (Mutual Improvement Association) activity when she was 12 years old by a friend named Luanna. She never went again, but had the experience to draw from later in life. At this time of our life on earth, mom took us to all different churches. We were told that we could choose the church we wanted to go to. I remember when we went to the Mormon Church. We went through the double doors and the spirit of the Holy Ghost completely took over my whole body. I felt it so strongly. I never will forget that awesome feeling. I knew that that was where we were suppose to be. We took the lessons and we all joined the Church together.

 I was 10 years old when I was baptized. Words alone cannot express the gratitude I feel for having the gospel in my life now. But even better things were still to come. My dad decided that he really did love us and did not want to loose us. He started taking the missionary lessons in the facilities he was in. He quit Smoking and drinking cold turkey. I’m sure he was not able to in the hospital any ways, but he now was doing it because of his family now. Dad was beginning to do a change that will take affect of the rest of his life. Being where he was and for what reasons he was there, he was not able to be baptized as of yet. After a year in the hospital/Prison Facilities, he was released and came home to us.

 We lived in Oxnard, California at this time. It was difficult but glad to have him home. There was a lot of adjusting to do. I never did feel comfortable hugging my dad. I hope you can understand, but it just was that way. That did not mean that I did not love him. It’s hard to imagine. It did not happen all at once though. It took a lot of time and trust building to get there. He then wanted to be baptized. He was not given the chance as of yet. He was told that because of the nature of his sins that he would need to be tried first. He was told that he would be given a year trial period of which to prove himself worthy for baptism. Dad did all that he could to be worthy of baptism. A year later he was baptized. Another year later and we were all sealed together in the Los Angeles Temple for time and all eternity. Dad really did do a turn around.

 He developed a testimony of the Jesus Christ and his Atonement. He then devoted his life to serving where ever he was needed. He served on several stake missions, and did service for the widows wherever he could. Amy & I still had our struggles with dad to overcome ourselves. It has taken our whole life time to do. Amy has had an even harder time getting through it. The scars that were left in our souls have been a constant reminder to us of our responsibility to overcome our own weaknesses and take advantage of the complete atonement in our own behalf. We have been grateful every day for the love of our Father in Heaven and his constant awareness of our weaknesses and desire to over come them, and His help in doing so.

 Weak thing make us strong. It did my dad, and because of his example I am not only blessed by his life, but also love my father very much for the great example that he gave us. This life experience was also a very hard thing for him to overcome as well. It was not easy being around his daughters in his right frame of mind, and know that his daughters were very aware of his actions. This I know hurt him so much. It was very hard for him to get through. He had a hard time with what he did to us. Before he died, he could not go without knowing that we had forgiven him. We each were given the opportunity to talk to him before he went to give him the assurance that he was forgiven. I love you Dad!

(Dad died on January  , 20  , and Mom died 4 days later of a block 4^th ventricle of the back of her head on February  , 20  . We had there funerals together.) Dad would not die because he was afraid of what would happen to mom. Mom was very heavy and could not get up if she fell by herself. He was afraid she could not take care of herself, so we felt that he just had to take her with him and so he did. She came down with a very severe headache the minute that dad passed away. Four days later she was gone. She was healthy up to that point other then her weight.

Reading

March 2, 2011:Patricia gave her FHE lesson from an article of the 2011 ERA on Journal writing. I have written in journals before when I was a young teenager. Kept it up for a while and then life got very busy. Isn’t that what we all are saying now. There just is not enough time to write in a journal or many other things that we know to be important. But I’ve decided to try to write at least some either every day or most days that I am at school, since I am doing it on my computer. I will either be taking a topic that is on my mind at the time, or an experience from the past that I feel needs to be written down for my posterity.

 Today, I will be writing about reading. I am a librarian here at the St. Johns Middle School. I have been for the past 15 years. I love it and the opportunity that it gives me to read lots of books of various different people and experiences. My favorite genre is Realistic and Historical Fiction. I never have been much into fantasy. I guess that is because I’ve always been the more serious type of person. I do like “good” Humor. Most humor though that people in this day and age think is humor is mostly sarcasm. I absolutely hate sarcasm. That is mainly because it is always at the expense of some one else’s feelings. My feelings are very sensitive and I do not like how it feels to be hurt, so I do not like others to be hurt as well by someone’s ruthless sarcasm. I guess that is why I never could tell a joke very well. People have always taken me seriously so joking does not usually fit my character. My children have often told me to lighten up.

 It’s not that easy. Today I had a book turned in, “The Lost Boy”, by David Pelser. It is an autobiography of his life. I had a teacher of much respect tell me she did not think that I should allow 4^th graders to read this set of books. This bothered me. I do respect this person and love her very much. But I did not agree. Yes it is a book that is filled with many hard events in this person’s very young life. And maybe I am wrong but I feel that reading these events of anyone’s life can give understanding and compassion for others. The life that this young boy had was real. He actually went through some very horrible things. But he was a very strong individual and his experiences helped him to become strong and to actually be forgiving of his parents. The Parents were horrible and never actually gave him a chance but the boy was a better person then his parents. He gives strength to other children who read about him.

 I guess that is another reason I felt that the book was good for students to read is because it does give others strength to go through the experiences that they go through. There are many children of our own community and world that go through much abuse of all kinds. Why, it is a shame, but that is unfortunate for many people these days. We are in world of awful wickedness. If a book can help give someone strength or compassion or whatever that person needs, then it is worth it for them to be able to get it in such an easy form as reading. If I’m wrong, then I am wrong. I do not profess to be a scholar of all things. I do not think that protecting young people from knowing the horror that goes on and just letting them think that everything is so wonderful and very easy is so very healthy for them. Yes we do need to protect until they are at a maturity to be able to handle certain knowledge. But what that age is I don’t know. Every child is at a different maturity level depending on experiences of their own lives. Some children have to grow up so fast that if we wait till they are adults to introduce them to understanding of life experiences, then they have lost valuable time in which they could have felt strength, compassion, and understanding that could very well help them to become a better and more productive person themselves.

 Please take what I say as my opinion. This is not tried and tested; it is just how I feel. Because I have felt these very feelings from experiences I have had in my life. This is a prospective from a hard and painful life of my own. Maybe that is why I feel so strongly about this. The person who disagreed with me probable has not gone through the same things. So we all see things differently. Just different perspectives, I sometimes learn good role models from reading books. They help me to see my role in life better and how I should live. I definitely could see that I would not be a good parent if I should decide to act just as this set of parents acted with this child in “A Child Called It”. I can see what I do not want to do for sure. But also teachings at home and especially in my case from church teachings have given me a base for to grow from. From this base then I can see more clearly what I should and should not do according to what I read in books. So if children are not taught in home the values and important teachings that are so important to have as a base to grow from then maybe I am wrong. I don’t know. But there is a light of Christ in all children when they are born.  For some, maybe this is all the base that they have to grow from. Then maybe a good wholesome book is what they need to build their strong character with.

 I think that most children in Jr. High can know what book that they want to read and know as they read it if they want to continue to read it or take it back for another book. But one thing that I do know to be right is that we need to read! And then learn something from it. What ever it may be, what we should or should not do. There is one set of books that I do not, and absolutely abhor, and that is Horror books. I do not like horror wicked in all ways books. There is a difference in wicked horror and the horrible things that this parent did to their child. There were things to learn from in “A Child Called It”. But in wicked Horror books, it is just wicked entertainment and nothing to really learn from. That is why I love realistic Fiction or Historical Fiction, or for that matter, also A good biography. I love to learn something from what I read.